# crowbar

%N Got slashed by %%'s Crowbar 
%%'s crowbar sends %N looking for some Advil 
%N failed at dancing the Get-the-Hell-Away jig for %%'s crowbar.
%N learns that a body in motion tends to stay in motion from %%'s crowbar. 
%% reached out and touched %N
%% showed %N what his brains look like.
%% played Rambo and hit %N.
%N got %%'s crowbar right between the eyes.
%N got smacked down with a crowbar
%% opened %N's head before christmas.
%% whupped %N like a redheaded stepchild. 
%N needs to return %%'s crowbar. 
%% wonders how he'll get his crowbar out of %%'s head. 
%% reminded %N that crowbars can kill, too 

# 9mmhandgun

%N will probably blame lag from dying from %%'s weak 9mm fire.
%% busted a cap in %N
%N was stupid enough to be killed by %%'s glock.
%N tried to run faster than a 9mm bullet.
%N thought of winning so hard, he didn't realize he was getting killed
The Quick- %% and The Dead- %N!! 

# 357

%% shows %N his Magnum's point and click interface 
%% busted a cap in %N's ass!
%% showed %N the most powerful handgun in the world
%% stole %N's Lunch Money! 
%N took it from %%'s six-shooter.
%N forgot to duck. 

# shotgun

%% broke %N's face
%N had a double helping of lead from %%'s shotgun.
%% busted a cap in %N's ass!
%% asta la vista-ed %N.
Oh my god, %% killed %N, You BASTARD!! 
%N has a shotgun-sized hole in his chest thanks to %%. 
%% double-barrelled %N all the way to Xen. 

# 9mmAR

%%'s MP5 gave %N a new place to put his Dr pepper 
%% plays Peek-a-Boo through %N's MP5 hole in his body. 
%% turns %N into swiss cheese. 
%N got shot too many times by %%'s Mp5.
%% busted a cap in %N's ass!
%% told %N all about tracers.
%% peppered %N full of holes. 

# crossbowselfkill

%N actually killed himself with a crossbow. Wow.

# crossbow

%% Plays William Tell and shoots an "apple" off %N Head. Too Low! Too Late! 
%N got spiked by %%.
%% saw %N through his sight.
%% put a bolt in %N.
Oh my god, %% killed %N, You BASTARD!! 
%% blew %N to bits with the crossbow. 
%N never saw %%'s arrow coming.
%N forgot to duck. 

# rpg_rocketselfkill

%N Tried to rocket-jump. This isn't quake!
%N decks the halls with himself.
%N blew himself up. Sucks to be %N
%N played tag with his red dot.
%N forgot to aim away from the wall before firing the RPG
%N turned himself into a bloody mess on the floor with the rpg.
%N blew a hole in the floor.
%N couldn't read THIS SIDE TOWARD ENEMY!! 
%N's rocket went off in his hands.
My, my %N. Watch where you point that thing

# rpg_rocket

%% sends %N on holiday all over the level with a cunningly placed rocket 
%% exposed %N spinal cord with a well placed rocket
%N crossed the line of fire of %%'s rocket launcher...and stayed there. 
%N sees the Thin Red Line... from %%'s Rocket Launcher. 
%N couldn't resist %%'s RPG casserole.
%N was caught by %%'s RPG laser sight
%% sent %N's head into orbit.
%N gets a rocket enema from %%!! 
%N couldn't dodge %%'s rocket. 
%N tried to ride %%'s rocket but forgot the seat belt.

# satchelselfkill

%% plays with bombs.
%N was on a high Methyl-1,3,5-TriNitroBenzene diet
%N creamed himself with his blast. 
%N didn't understand the concept of "remote". 
%N wasn't remotely intelligent with his satchel. 
%N thought he was safe if surrounded by bombs. 
%N didn't know C-4 could hurt so much. 
%N wears a satchel. 

# satchel

%% forgot where he put those packs that %N found.
%N tried %%'s Satchell on for size
%% pressed the button on %N.
%N Stopped to smell %%'s roses. 
%% turns the lights out on %N. 

# tripmineselfkill

%N has a vision and goes toward the light. Bad advice.
%N Tried to shoot down a tripmine. Tried. 
%N Got tripmines stuck to him. Too bad he blinked. 
%N stepped into the light.
%N tried to disarm his trip-mines
%N tripped.
%N was mesmerized by the pretty blue light. 

# tripmine

%% knew that super glue on the tripmine would make %N's day.
%N shows that Attention Deficit and %%'s tripmine do not mix. 
%% left behind a goody for %N.
Oh my god, %% killed %N, You BASTARD!! 
%% turns the lights out on %N. 

# grenadeselfkill

%N Forgot the second step in using a grenade.
%N could only remember the first part of "Pull pin, Throw, Repeat". 
%N learned to love the bomb.
%N bit down on something hard.
Got grenade? %N has.
Umm...%N, next time try throwing the grenade
%N Pulls the Grenade, throws the pin!
%% throws like a girl.
%N forgot how to count. 

# grenade

%% blows %N into tiny bits with the holy hand grenade 
%N caught %%'s grenade, but forgot to throw it back.
%N was at the wrong end of %%'s grenade trajectory 
%N had a frosty can of Shut the Hell Up from %%!
%% shot a grenade %N's way.
%% learned the definition of "impact explosives."
%% lobbed a pineaple %N's way. 
%% made %N pizza. 
%% popped %N with a grenade. 
%N forgot to run from %%'s grenade.

# gaussselfkill

%N fried his butt with his gauss.
%N forgot to let go of the trigger
%% learned about radioactive half-lives the hard way.
%N felt his own pointy tip explode. 
%N's long shaft exploded in his face. 
%N's pointy shaft came with a quiver. 
%N used his tip the wrong way. 
%N needs to get a new angle. %N held it for too long.   
%N is accused of battery charges. 
%N is proof that humans are conductive. 

# gauss

%N bends over and grabs ankles just in time for %%'s Gauss gun 
%% makes %N pop like a squirrel on a transformer. 
%% told %N that a tau cannon is NOT a fraternity.
%N got fried by %%.
%N underestimated %%'s Gauss Gun penetration power
%% Chernobyled %N.
%% sent a hot slag through %N, and the wall behind him.
%% turns the lights out on %N. 
%% gave %N that glowing feeling. 
%% fried %N like an egg. 

# egon

%%'s Egon ensures %N has no body to play with.
%N was BBQ'd by %%.
%N really hurts from %%'s fire hose of death!
%N allowed %% to light his cigar
%% blew %N out of existance.
%% made %N pizza. 
%N was deep-fried!!
%% roasted %N like a campfire marshmallow. 
%N got barbequed by %%'s gluon gun. 

# egonselfkill

%N crossed the streams
%N was electrocuted by... himself.
%N paints the walls a pretty shade of red. 
%% walked into a wall.
%N's shaft exploded against the wall, and he felt the splash. 
%N was deatomized by the wall. 
%N ripped himself apart. 
%N got some of his own gluon him.
%N couldn't handle the power of his egon.

# snarkselfkill

%N Tried to pet the snarks
%N fed the snarks.
%N became a nutrious complete breakfast for the snarks.
%N sees a snark biting the hand that feeds it.
%N tried to kiss snarks
%N decided to try to make love to a snark.OUCH!
%N doesn't like snarks anymore.
%N tried to spank the snarks.
%N got a snark stuck in his ass. 
%N forgot to feed his snarks. 
%N should have left his snarks in the cage. 

# snark

%N holds a Snark Fiesta on his body in %%'s honor.
%N gets a hickey from %%'s snark. Awwwww...
%N wanted to live in harmony with %%'s snark
%% snarked %N.
%N gets it from %%! 
%%'s snarks had %N as a snack. 
%%'s snarks had %N casserole for dinner. 

# hornet

%N Got stung to death.
The hornets from %%'s hivehand found %N very tasty.
%N was infested by %%'s hornetgun.
%N felt the wrath of the killer bees.
%% annoyed %N to death with hornets.
%% stung %N to death.
%N gets it from %%! 
%N Threw one to many rocks at %%'s Hornet nest.

# fallingselfkill

%N tried to fly.
%N struggles with gravitational theory

# shockselfkill

%N blew a fuse

# blastselfkill

%N blew up

# drownselfkill

%N wants to be a fish
%N sank like the titanic

# airraidselfkill

%N thought that being a human AA gun would help his team

# nervegasselfkill

%N lost his nerve

# radiationselfkill

%N learned about gamma emissions the hard way

# freezeselfkill

%N chills out.

# poisonselfkill

%N took a poisoned apple.

# burnselfkill

%N shouldn't play with matches

# worldspawn

%N did something stupid
%N died,what a loser! 
The worms find %N is a tasty snack. 
%N likes shiny things.
Judgement has come for %N