# You can have 1024 chars per group of strings

*financial

BSHT+33%  CUBEL+25%  SPUK+15%  CABOX+25%  OOT-25%  ECLA+6%  BEAN+20%  LOGR+8%  RWDC+2%  CHKO+6%  BIGL+2%   
E-Cola spreads it's global market...
TIKL+9%  FRUC-45%  WHIZ+2%  BADR+2%  GNIC+2%   
iFruit bruised due to uHelmet lack of demand...
NXJN+36%  XGAS+26%  RONO+16%  GLBOIL+26%   
Economic growth nowhere to be seen...   
LSNW+33%  METV-32%  WZNT+26%  CANE-23%  LIBT+10%  CNTU-32%  EYEF+13%   
Corporate America still out for lunch...
BOLS-180%  JLZA-111%  LOMB-117%  FLEE-18%  SHRK-50%  BAWS-341%   
Five out of five economists sees rate hike this year.  
BNCO+12%  BAWSAQ-223%  PLAP+2%  ERIS-3%   
Activists win through and shares plummet!   
BETA+24%  UGEN-13%  MOLLIS+23%  MAXR-2%   
Energy bills continue rise due to high demand....
~~~~~     

*theatre

A new play 'LEGLESS'- A deadly serious play at The Amdram Theater, starring Al Di Napoli - Extreme method acting!  
Tickets available for all shows at the eyefind.info box office.  
Do not miss 'Miserable Bankers' The Musical - It's in French! At the Maginot Theater - It will leave you spent!
Magic Curtain Theater still presenting 'Swinging Puppets' and the fantastically popular 'Shakespeare on Drugs' The bard trip.  
Tickets available for all shows at the eyefind.info box office.  
Performance Nonsense 'Fairy Body Paint' at the Liberteen Theater What a big bunch of fairies.  
They tried to wipe him out... But they missed a bit... The Brown Streak Returns - Keep an eye out for the release!
Closes after tickets fail to sell 'ABANDON SHIT' bailed out of the Seagull Theater. 
Tickets available for all shows at the eyefind.info box office. 
~~~~~

*advertising

This is CNT. Conglomerated National Television  
CNT Wednesday nights this fall - BONER - Liberty's Only Archaeologist & Private Dick.
CNT The Fruit Bowl. Hey Hey Heeeeyyyy! 4 Friends - 8 Relationships! Go Figure!?
CNT has all your favorite movies Wednesday at 10/9 eastern.   
CNT Don't miss the new Asian Animation - Princess Robot Bubblegum - A hot night in... alone.  
You're on CNT - The best in comedy - news - drama and paid programming. 
MeTV - New Show Sunday nights at 10pm - Lock Up Your Daughter - She's a Spunk Bucket...
MeTV - Clay "PG" Jackson's New Album 'Love isn't a Crime' In Stores Now!
The show for men by men in The Men's Room with Bas and Jeremy - Only on WEAZEL. 
They're Back - They're Loaded - They're Protecting The Homeland - All New Episode That Will Touch Your Heart - Republican Space Rangers - Only on WEAZEL.   
Get ready to put your family to sleep WEAZEL presents a whole new season of Ether - Only on WEAZEL.   
All next week  it's patriotism at its finest as WEAZEL revisits history with the non-stop Terror Marathon.    
~~~~~

*clock
~~~~~

*urls
bleeter.biz
fuggie.com
goldforlife.biz
womenareidiots.net
youvebeencelebinated.com
libertytreeonline.com   
publiclibertyonline.com   
vipluxuryringtones.com
weazelnews.com
princessrobotbubblegum.com
~~~~~

*comedyclub
split sides is closed until further notice, sorry for the inconvenience. 
~~~~~

*traffic
stay in lane
gridlock ahead
min speed 20 miles
max speed 30 miles
check your fuel
tiredness kills
car thefts on the up - lock your car
be a courteous driver
watch your speed
~~~~~

*news
crime on an all time high.
~~~~~
