-- The Story of Dave the Quake Marine --

This is terrible, I'm sorry :)

Prologue:

Dave had longed for nothing but to paint for his whole life. The heady
smells of the paint, and freedom to create with them whatever he could
imagine were the only things that excited him, the only things that kept
him going. Painting was the only reason Dave worked at Outpost Stanley,
a small, secluded military installation in the Colorado mountains.
Without his job as a janitor and trainee Quake Marine, Dave would have
no money to buy paint, and his propensity for high levels of controlled
violence meant that his career options were either the military, riot
police or perhaps substitute teacher. Dave had chosen the military.


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Chapter 1: Disturbance at the Chapel

Although Dave was not a religious man, Outpost Stanley's commanding
officer encouraged everybody to attend chapel on a Sunday. Instead of
having a church within the outpost, as is customary in most military
installations, the marines had refurbished a beautiful old chapel in a
nearby ghost town and were using that instead.

However, something had apparently happened at the chapel that resulted
in the deaths of several marines, and now Dave, despite his lowly role
as a janitor, was being sent to investigate.

Although Dave had some misgivings about organised religion, he couldn't
help but admire the beauty of the stained glass windows and soaring arches
of the churches he had visited in the past. Despite being warned that
there had been deaths, and it was likely that a portal to the
Netherworld had been opened somewhere in or around the chapel, Dave
thought it would be a great chance to practice perspective drawing and
do some small studies of the stained glass windows.

Dave grabbed his shotgun, 25 shells and his axe and stuffed them into his
backpack alongside his watercolours and sketchbook and set out along
the cliff toward the chapel.

[PLAY YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - DMD1]


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Chapter 2: Blood is Thicker than Paint

The chapel had been a far more difficult situation than Dave anticipated,
leaving him scratched and bruised, and with his favourite Ratskine
sketchpad lost somewhere in the chapel's dank catacombs, he would not be
able to do any sketching or painting. Of course, he wasn't in the mood now,
since he'd nearly been scragged by a scrag, shambled by a shambler, and
even met some kind of burping jelly creature just before he dropped his
sketchpad.

Dave was now knee deep in blood, and heading down into the metallic vaults
of the chapel's apparently Satanic tombs, looking for the portal from
whence all these nightmare creatures had emerged.

As Dave's boots sloshed through the blood in the darkened tunnel, he
realised that blood was an incredibly good substitute for crimson red,
a paint that had become so expensive due to shortages of the pigments
used in it that he had not been able to paint anything red for a while.
Yes, there were other shades of red, but they were all inferior.
Vermillion? Basically brown, red for paupers. Burgundy was barely and
better, and scarlet a pale imitation. Crimson was the only red Dave wanted
to paint with, because it was pure and raw, and luckily Dave had come
to the right place to stock up on an acceptable substitute.

Although Dave's notepad had been lost, and his brushes ended up in the
eye socket of a fiend that got a little too frisky, Dave still had his axe,
shotgun and somehow managed to keep at least 25 shells in his pack. As he
waded forward through the dark tunnel, light glistened from the distance
on the surface of the blood. Dave knew he would soon reach the tomb.

[PLAY YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - DMD2]


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[SKIP THIS CHAPTER IF YOU DIDN'T FIND THE SECRET LEVEL IN DMD2]

Chapter 9: Dave Gets Lost at the Sludge Refinery

After Dave had managed to find a way to reach the large portal in the
chapel's blood-drenched tombs, he noticed that it was possible to go behind
and enter through the back. Since the back of the portal looked so much
more interesting than the front, Dave had hopped in, only to find himself
transported to an unfamiliar base. This wasn't Outpost Stanley, but from
what Dave could deduce it was the sludge refinery.

From what Dave knew of the sludge refinery, it was a processing plant that
turned the toxic green slime that was a waste-product of powering slipgates
into a different kind of toxic sludge. The point of sludge to sludge
conversion was something that Dave could not understand, although he had
heard that it was related to the Shambler repellent program, and that there
were huge stockpiles of this stuff in and around the refinery.

As he examined the room he had appeared in, Dave could see toxic sludge below
him and hear it being pumped through pipes around him. He had no idea which
type of toxic sludge it was, but he knew that one kind would dissolve his
skin, while the other would dissolve his skin, but also make it partially
repellent to shamblers. Either way, the sludge was best avoided, and Dave
had found dispatching shamblers with conventional means not so difficult
if he employed a technique known as "The Shambler Shuffle".

Dave had heard from a scientist working on shambler repellent that they had
tried to repel the beasts with loud music, but it just made them dance, and
they would soon get bored without a dancing partner and start firing lightning
at whoever was nearest. However, if one was able to dance seductively enough
near a shambler, it would become hypnotised, unable to fire lightning
and rendered temporarily harmless, even while being attacked.

The shambler's greatest weakness is not nails, not lightning, but its love
for dancing.

Dave cocked his shotgun once more, making sure he had at minimum 25 shells
with which to take down almost any creature. A shambler would require a
close range encounter to make every shell count, but Dave walked forward,
confident in his ability to tame the shambler with his dance moves, and
besides, if that didn't work he still had his axe.

[PLAY YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - DMD9 (SKIP IF YOU DIDN'T FIND THE SECRET LEVEL)]


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Chapter 3: Painting Excursion to the Abandoned Base

One of Dave's favourite painting spots was an abandoned military outpost
located near to Outpost Stanley. The base was always quiet, and Dave was
able to practice water colour painting without any distractions. It was
just the break he needed after his mission to the chapel, and now he would
be able to try out mixing his special crimson red into his browns to really
capture the walls of the base in vivid colour.

As Dave reached the main entrance of the base, he was feeling a little
tired after the long walk, so took off his backpack and reached in to get
his thermos of ice tea.

Wait a moment! Something wasn't right!

Dave had forgotten to pack his paints! He had instead packed his shotgun
and 25 shells. Going back to Outpost Stanley for his paints would take at
least 45 minutes in each direction, so Dave decided that it was best to
just forget about painting and enjoy some solitary time wandering the base
looking for items left behind by its previous owners.

The main doors of the base were not powered, but Dave knew a trick to get
them to open with minimal effort. He reached into his backpack and pulled
out his camping axe. The axe was still covered with with paint after it
had cut into his Vermillion red paint tube on a separate occasion. Dave
certainly knew better than to leave his axe and paint tubes loose in his
backpack after that incident. He took the axe and wedged it into a small
crack at the bottom of the door. The door opened unusually quickly, as if
the power had come back on. Dave thought nothing of it and went through the
door into the base.

As Dave entered the first area of the base, the door swooshed shut. This
had not happened before, so Dave panicked. He tried putting his axe into
the gap in the door again, but nothing happened. Looks like he was trapped.
At least he still had his sandwiches and tea.

[PLAY YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - DMD3]


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Chapter 4: Photo Reference Side Hustle in the Hidden Palace

Instead of taking the last active slipgate out of the abandoned base back
to Outpost Stanley as Dave had hoped, he had instead fallen into a scrag
filled pit and once again nearly been scragged and found himself in a
palace of Netherworldly architecture that was buried deep within the earth
under the abandoned base.

Although Dave had forgotten his paints, he realised that he always carried
a compact mirror-less camera in his pack just in case he needed to get some
photo reference. Dave wasn't sure why he needed to carry around a $2000
camera when he had a nice camera on his phone already, but at least he felt
like a fucking artist when he held the camera.

Collecting reference was a side-hustle that Dave had been building up in
between mopping the floors at Stanley and now had a few clients from
whom he was bringing in a nice bit of extra cash to supplement his small
military salary.

One of Dave's clients was looking rather specifically for "Netherworld
blue streaked stone walls with orange runic lights, preferably with magma
nearby", and this place was exactly what the client wanted. Dave was sure
he'd be able to add an additional danger fee on top of the base fee, so
would be able to rake in some really good money for this gig.

As Dave walked forward, he pulled out his camera; His shotgun and 25 shells
would not be needed to capture reference, but Dave would sure as hell tell
the client they were, and that he nearly died several times and needed
paying quadruple.


[PLAY YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - DMD4]


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Chapter 5: Burnt Sienna and Rusty Pipes

It had been months since Dave had done any painting. The last time
he had tried to go on a painting trip, everything had gone wrong - he had
forgotten his paints for one, but on top of that, the 'abandoned' base he
had tried to explore had turned out to be swarming with evil zombies and
hideous creatures from the Netherworld. Not only had Dave not got any
painting that day, he had damn near shat his pants when he was surrounded
by a group of shamblers, and in battling his way out of the base, had ended
up falling into a Netherworld palace. By the time Dave managed to escape,
he had ended up completely battered and bruised and covered in blood and
fiend semen (don't ask...)

Today was a Friday, and for some reason, Friday was always the day Dave
was given the most menial and boring janitorial takes. Whilst everybody
else loved Fridays, Dave had begun to hate them.

This Friday was no different. Dave had a plumbing assignment at the old
cistern building in Block G. The cistern was old, rusting and in dire need
of replacement, but the military budget had been concentrated almost
entirely on shambler repellent, so the cistern was left to rust away and
the small amount of money not consumed by failed attempts at repelling
shamblers with a mildly unpleasant smelling cream was spent on sending
Dave down there in his boots with a wrench (also rusty).

Dave knew he had a boring day ahead of him, and that he would probably
be able to get the plumbing work done pretty quickly, so had packed his
paints so that he could capture the mouldy green bricks and rusting metal
of the cistern on one of his canvases.

The day ahead looked like it was going to be fairly uneventful, but Dave
wasn't prepared to take any chances; Not only had Dave triple checked that
he had packed his paints this time, he also made sure to take his axe,
shotgun and 25 shells in case any stupid monsters decided to emerge from
the overflow.

[PLAY YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - DMD5]

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Chapter 6: Search for the Old Slipgate

Where was he now? Dave the Quake marine had gone on another painting
trip that began with the promise of capturing rusted walls with his new
tube of burnt sienna, but ended in absolute chaos as the cistern turned out
to be bustling with creatures from the Netherworld. Although Dave had managed
to kill the vile creatures, he hadn't managed to do ANY painting, let alone
the plumbing he had been sent to do. After all this, he now found himself in
another archaic base, with walls covered in rust and mould, and the stench
of mildew thick in the air.

Dave pulled out his PocketNav computer and ran a scan of the location.
Although it was missing almost any kind of detail, the scan did reveal
that there was a slipgate nearby, although it was one of the weird old kind
that Dave saw on TV when he was a teenager.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Dave had been an awkward teenager, spending far more
time than was healthy playing videogames and reading about weapons online.
He was even once flagged by the local police as a possible terrorist because
he had downloaded the plans to a 3d printed shotgun and 25 shells. Dave had
actually printed the gun, although the shells wouldn't fire without gunpowder,
but this didn't stop a friendly visit from the local sheriff. Thankfully, this
intervention was the impetus Dave needed to look into other hobbies, and
the reason he began painting.

Dave ran his scanner once more, picking up a little more detail. He spotted
some movement but it didn't bother him.

Dave lit a cigarette, its smoke wafting seductively in the cold air, its
glow softly illuminating Dave's chiselled features. Marlboro Lights really
helped take the edge off, and without them Dave would be nothing more than
another statistic, another marine sliced by the sharp claws of a fiend, or
smashed by a Shambler. With the powers granted by the tobacco of a Marlboro
Light, Dave was able to carve his way through just about any battle.
For Dave, Marlboro Lights were like quad damage, only better tasting, and
without such a sudden and disappointing comedown.

Dave knew that knew of the dangers of long term smoking, but he was more
of a "live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse" kind of guy. Of
course, his corpse would likely end up mauled my a shambler, or covered in
fiend semen, so how good looking it would be was very much something up
for debate.

Dave finished his cigarette, flicked it away, and watched the discarded
butt roll into a vent. He put his scanner back in his satchel, cocked his
shotgun and crawled out of yet another dank tunnel into the flickering
neon light, safe in the knowledge that with another 19 Marlboro Lights
in his pack, he could handle anything that was thrown at him, even with
just 25 shells...

[PLAY YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - DMD6]


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Chapter 7: Assault on the Netherworld
Although his mission to power the slipgate had ended in disaster, Dave had
somehow managed to find his way into the grounds of a curious castle-like
building. The building was surrounded by huge cliffs, a moat and was not
apparently accessible from near the vent Dave crawled out of.

Had Dave ended up in the Netherworld without passing through a slipgate again?
How was this possible, and was it canon? Dave didn't care about how he came
to be in the Netherworld, or whether it made any sense; He just wanted to get
out of there, or perhaps find a way to destroy the Netherworld once and for
all, and stop all the strange creatures that had been interrupting his
painting excursions.

Yes, it was time. The more Dave thought about his lost sketchpad, his failed
painting trips and all the sticky substances he regularly found himself
covered in, the more his anger grew. Dave had smoked his last cigarettes
whilst trying to power up the dark portal, so now he had nothing to calm
his nerves, and nothing to stop his inner rage from bubbling explosively
to the surface.

On top of the building sat a large portal, clearly visible from Dave's position
down by the moat. If he could enter the portal, perhaps he could penetrate
further into the Netherworld and finally find who was responsible and destroy
them for the chaos and disruption they had brought to hobby painters the
world over.

A fiend snarled in the distance, its strange musky odour penetrating Dave's
nostrils long before its claws would be able to penetrate his armour. The
scent was a clear sign the fiend was likely in heat and would try to jump
on him if he didn't prepare himself.

Once more, Dave grabbed his shotgun and readied himself to destroy whatever
was in front of him. Hopefully 25 shells would be sufficient.

[PLAY YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - DMD7]


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Chapter 8: Escape from the Netherworld

As the whooshing and crackling of the portal settled to a gentle breeze,
Dave found himself in a dank copper chambler with a pool of water in front
of him. Some supplies had been left by the pool, suggesting that either
another marine had made it past this point, or more likely, someone was
waiting for him and had left an item trail to lure plucky adventurers into
a trap.

Could this be where he would finally find the Netherworldly mastermind
behind the invasion of Earth? Did Shub-Niggurath, the black goat with a
thousand young reside here? She was the source of all the monsters that
Dave hated so much. If he destroyed Shub-Niggurath, would he be able to
return back to Earth and finally get some quality time with his paints?
Would he even find some new colour pigments to paint with while he was here?

Dave picked up the items and put them in his pack, for he would likely need
more than just his shotgun and 25 shells for this battle.


[PLAY YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - DMD8]


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Epilogue:

Shub-Niggurath's body had been torn to bloody chunks that now lay lifelessly
around the massive portal. Shub-Niggurath had been constructing the portal
to transport herself to Earth and begin her invasion proper. It turned out
that despite being a mighty god of the Netherworld, able to spawn thousands
of nightmarish creatures and send them to Earth, she also had a major
weakness: Cost-cutting.

Shub-Niggurath had wanted her grand portal, but she didn't want to hire
professional labourers and had instead employed a small team of ogres and
shamblers to build it for her. While these creatures were known for their
ability to build, they were not known for their fastidious nature, spent
more time on tea breaks than building, and had long forgotten the old adage
of "measure twice, cut once", resulting in a portal that was too small for
Shub-Niggurath to fit through.

While she had known the portal would be a tight squeeze, Shub-Niggurath
had become impatient and wanted to get the main push of the invasion started
right away. Had she been able to transport herself to Earth, there would have
been no stopping the havoc she could have wrought. However, due to her
impatience, she found herself jammed helplessly in the portal she had built,
unable to move, and lay vulnerable to anything else entering the portal
behind her.

After collecting the four magic runes, Dave was able to unlock the portal, and
enter with Shub-Niggurath still in it, causing her instantaneous and
unfortunately painless death.

Dave wished he could have inflicted more pain upon Shub-Niggurath, but now he
knew she was gone for good, and with no more monsters to fight, he would
finally get some time to paint. Perhaps Dave would get a pay rise for saving
humanity from Shub-Niggurath, and be able to afford real crimson red paint,
with which he could paint his masterpiece - Shubsplosion.
