Path: mantis!not-for-mail From: TCM (The Cookie Monster) Newsgroups: rec.games.computer.doom.announce,rec.games.computer.doom.playing Subject: DOOM Frag & Player List Followup-To: rec.games.computer.doom.playing Date: 24 Jan 1996 17:47:39 -0000 Organization: University of Canterbury, Christchurch, New Zealand Lines: 726 Sender: tony@mantis.co.uk Approved: doom@mantis.co.uk Message-ID: <1996Jan25.012244@csc.canterbury.ac.nz> [ Note followups - mod. ] Last The DOOM FRAG & PLAYERS List John Becker, Glenn & Justin Fisher Revised ---------------------------- (Yes dammit, the Aliens-TC guy :) 23/01/96 ** DO NOT MODIFY THIS FILE! (C) 1996 ** FRAGS ===== SKILL FRAG: - When you kill the opponent because you are superior in controlling input devices like keyboard's and mouse's better. TACTIC FRAG: - When you do a triple reverse inverted double back or something to evade your opponent, fragging them... and it works. YOU BLOODY BUGGERY BASTARD FRAG: - When the opponent just _keeps_ on killing you and you cant do a bloody thing. Very annoying. FREE FRAG: - This is when you die, warp back in and the opponent is standing right in front of you, bang you die, warp back in and bang you die (again). This can happen many times and is painfully annoying. (Known as a cheap frag by those who suffer from attacks of morality) WHO WHAT WHERE? FRAG: - You are wandering around minding your own business with no-one in sight, everything is nice peaceful and serene and you can imagine the wind gently rocking the tree's etc etc and then all of a sudden you hear a almighty boom and you are dead within milliseconds. You have _no_ idea what happened. PICKED UP THAT OTHER GUN FRAG: - When you go to shoot the opponent but you pick up another gun by mistake and you die as your dumb marine is changing weapons. OUTTA AMMO FRAG: - You chase your opponent for what it seems like half a mile pumping them full 'o' lead and just as they are about to die you run out of ammo. You die as a result. THE PINBALL FRAG: - Occurs when both both players are fireing missles and/or there are lots of barrels in the area. A shock wave blows a player at high speed in an alternate course, several shock waves follow and somewhere in between the player is killed while being kicked backwards and forwards, left and right. THE "HAHAHA, THAT LOOKED SO STUPID" FRAG: - When you are being chased by that raving lunatic, you do a cool maneuvre and get to see them fire a few rockets in the wrong direction. They dont know you are behind them, so you creep up and . They are dead. CHAINGUN CHASE FRAG: - When the opponent warps in next to you after finishing them off and you let them have it chasing them with your chaingun. A type of *FREE FRAG*. (This can be quite effective). You can guarentee (bit debate on spelling here) that as you kill them, their lifeless corpse will skim over and pick up that SSG that they _really_ needed. (While you needed it for ammo...) "YOU WERENT MEANT TO HAVE THAT GUN" FRAG: - When you do something really stupid like trapping your opponent thinking they have no weapons, then 2 seconds later you find they had a weapon after all. You were wrong :> PISTOL FRAG: 1 - You are engaged in a massive battle and you run outta decent ammo, your opponent is pretty wasted and in occasions is actually going somewhere to get health, but you persevere, dancing through the cloud of rockets and nail them with your 9mm pop gun. Very shameful for the opponent. 2 - You are playing 4 player deathmatch and you see two people battling it out. They severly nail each other and one dies. You then go and finish off the person still living with your pistol. "Hahahaha" THE "OH DEAR" FRAG: - The game is paused (to chat or something) and your entire screen is filled with the green orb of a BFG blast on an inevitable intercept course that you can't hope to dodge. May also happen with a rocket. In this situation you will be thinking "I can quit the game now and they'll never get the frag" The other player will often send a message along the lines of "haha" before accidently releasing pause for the required .001 of a second. DEATH WAS INEVITIBLE FRAG: - You have %200 health and all the weapons and your opponent has %25 health and a shotgun and you totally obliterate the guy. SHAME FRAG: - Same as the *DEATH WAS INEVITIBLE FRAG* except you're the one that dies. "Doh!" THE STUPID GUN DIDNT FIRE FRAG: - When see your opponent and quickly respond, you press fire button but are what seems like .02 of a millisecond _late_. Often experienced with the shotgun/supershot gun. I CANT BE BOTHERED FRAG: - When your opponent is totally whipping you or it is 4 in the morning and you just dont have the will to kill them. You help the opponent in their journey to victory and even go suicidal. BEWARE prepare to get your nose rubbed in it the next day. (Hi Justin :>) BLEW HIS GUTS INSIDE OUT FRAG: - Self explanitry :> "Splatrified!" THE "YOU CUNNING BASTARD" (BUT YOU WEREN'T) FRAG: - Typically, you are blazing away at the other guy, you have 50 bullets, 3 shells, 2 rockets. The shotgun hits but not enough, you miss, and suddenly find you have no shells left. Doom auto-switches to the pistol, and you acidentally fire, revealing your tragic secret. PANIC! "Ahah!" thinks the other player, and waltzes out of hiding. Your fumbling fingers finally find "5", and room is redecorated.(to the curses of the other player for falling into such a simple trick. Best to not to reveal what _really_ happened.) THE WARP 9.9 MR WORF FRAG: - Somehow, you manage to get fragged, respawn, and refragged on the other side of a _massive_ level as soon as you respawn. This is not possible because the other player is still a ten minute trip south. Somehow he managed it. Bastard. THE "HOW THE HELL DID HE GET A BFG _THERE_?!?" FRAG: - Learn the levels. THE "I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING" FRAG: - One minute everything is serene, not a soul in sight, nothing moving. The next _frame_ the screen is partially obscured by a large missile that will hit you in the vicenity of the following frame... THE "I SURVIVED!" FRAG: - Running down a corridor, you take a missile full in the face, you are blown down the corridor, obscured by the blood in your eyes. As you relax before pressing space, the red clears and you discover you are actually still alive, just in time to have this problem rectified by a second missile after your opponent came to same conclusion. THE QUICK WAY OUT FRAG: - Several rockets are bearing down on the other player. He is History with a capital "H", rather than face these rockets like a man, he decides to hit the oh-so-convenient End-Level switch. (Hi John :) ** Insert from John: That was cruel :> (Glenn got his revenge as you WILL know) I feel like killing you tonight.. ** Insert from Glenn Over my dead body. THE FRAG THAT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE FRAG: - You run smack bang into your opponent, he has no weapons or armour, you have the supershotgun and press fire... You only had one shell left and you auto-switch down to pistol. Player escapes, you hit "3" to get the shotgun, fire just as he ducks out of view, you give chase, selecting weapon "5", come screaming round the corner, it's a dead end, he's trapped like a rat, you let him have it, hit the wall instead and smear yourself over the surrounding panelwork. THE SHOT THAT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE FRAG: - While next to a wall you realise the opponent is behind you, you have rockets selected, press fire then spin around knowing the rockets will exit the barrel perfectly on target. Telecon decides at this moment to inject a touch of line noise into the game, the game halts for a split second and your mouse driven 180 is cut to 90. You redecorate the surrounding panelwork once again. (The evil telecom AI chuckles to itself) THE NEWTONS 3RD LAW OF DYNAMICS FRAG: - You come screaming down a corridor. A rocket comes screaming down the same corridor, slightly different direction (approximately 180 degrees to you own trajectory). For reasons unexpected, your mass experiences a velocity shift of exteme magnitude in a direction inversely proportional to your intended velocity. Both structures invloved exceed maximum stress thresholds, and dissentigrate during this process. This is the only known manouver by which a keyboard user can instantanously reverse direction. THE AIRBORN EXPERIENCE FRAG: - This is when have just leaped off a high place and you see the horrific sight of your opponent down at the bottom firing that super shotgun or rocket launcher at you while you are in mid air. By the time you hit the ground you are so dead that you dont feel the pain of the impact. :> Level 24 is notorious for this. THE PRE AIRBORN EXPERIENCE FRAG: - Similar to the *AIRBORN EXPERIENCE FRAG* but you blast your opponent off a high place and they end up a few miles away rather than shooting them in mid air. EG - Sliding down stairs. THE SNIPER FRAG: - This is where you are perched up in a high place waiting for your prey to wander by. You let them have it without them knowning what hit them. Like a *WHO WHAT WHERE? FRAG* CLASSIC FRAG: - This is when you get a frag that looks so awesome that you wish you got it on tape. An example from the other night is on level 24 where you have the series of pillars where the people come running down after falling in the slime, I stand at the bottom waiting for them getting them in mid air (looks great) And then I see one warp up, then another one warps aswell telefragging the first guy, then this guts comes flying down the pillars to meet me. Awesome! THE "I WAS EATING" FRAG: - This is when your highly important deathmatch session takes second priority to your stomach. You pause to have a bite of that delicious and are blown away to say the least during so. You say something like, "I wasnt ready" but thats just your tough shit. (does this happen to just me?) THE PHONE RANG FRAG: - Similar to the "I WAS EATING" FRAG but this is when you pause to get get the phone and you die. The person on the phone gets the slight tinge of "Pissed off'ness" in your voice and cuts the convo short, allowing you to get your revenge :>. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE FRAG: - You have just been engulfed in a major battle and you come out of it pretty bad, neither of you are dead yet and you have found a nice DEAD END SAFE-HAVEN. (Greaaat..) You wait, wait more, keep waiting, all this time not hearing anything, so you decide to go. Just as you are leaving all of a sudden the tinny bugger (or the map cheat bugger) comes in and completly obliterates you. "Dont get mad, get even" THE DAMN DOORS DONT OPEN QUICK ENOUGH FRAG: - When a fortified lunatic is chasing you and you find yourself having to open a door, its amazing how much slower they open in this situation. Rather annoying. I'M GETTING THE CRAP KICKED OUT OF ME FRAG: - This is where you have just been wasted about 30 times in a row, and you get really annoyed, and start saying things like "But I'm attacking you with my fists", and "suicide is fun", even though you usually are still using weapons, but you're just losing really bad. THIS LEVEL REALLY SUCKS FRAG: - You think this level really bites, so usually just go for the exit lots, and usually get killed lots along the way. Usually occurs when one player gains control of the level and kills the other several bizillion times. AMBUSH FRAG: - When you hide and wait (usually by a weapon) for your unsuspecting opponent to wander by... then you give it to them. "Ohhh yeah" (good success rate, kinda cheap, newbies love it) TELEFRAG: - You see the opponent, they havent seen you, great, you sneak up behind them and it turns out they are going to teleport.. EVEN BETTER. Just as they go through the teleporter, you go through aswell.. Hahahaha, their guts is turned inside out due to the particle moleculizer overwriting their matter with yours. :> (Followed half a second later by player 3 pulling the same trick) ** Insert from Glenn: Those invulnerability power-ups... aren't - It was a major pissoff I WAS BEING A SMARTASS FRAG: - You are toying with your opponent and could kill them anytime but leave them to run around shitting themselves.. (oh aren't you a Devil) Butttt, somehow, they get a gun and blow you away with a cry of joy. :> (Poetic Justice?) BARREL FRAG: - Your opponent is standing next to a barrel (fool) (they usually dont know though) and you paste the barrel which blows them into a million pieces. This is very rewarding. BARREL FRAG V2: - Very different from the BARREL FRAG in that you shoot the barrel next to _you_ by mistake and blow _yourself_ into a million pieces. This is not very rewarding. THE "OK SO YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME" FRAG: - This is when your opponent has obviously played doom a lot more than you and is a lot better than you. ie You cant kill the guy and you have died perhaps 40 times. (even when they switch to pistol or fists to be a smartass) I guess I can say this hasn't happened to me. Hehehe WHAT A WICKED SHOT FRAG: - You kill your opponent with the most awesome shot seen on the face of the earth. Big ego boost :> (You try to brag to others about it but no-one grasps the sheer genius of... it) "HATE THAT.." FRAG: - When you know you are going to die and it has happened before in exactly the same way. (De ja vu?) WENT FOR A SWIM FRAG: - This is when you see the slime, intend on avoiding the slime, but end up in the slime anyway. You die in pain with gentle laughter in the background. NO MERCY FRAG: - You are so pissed off cause you havent gotten a frag in ages and you dont give your opponent any slack whatsoever. PUT THAT DAMN BFG AWAY FRAG: - Your opponent has got the BFG9000 and what seems like an unlimited supply of ammo. You die 5-10 times as a result. Painfully annoying. HEARTATTACK FRAG: - You wander round for ages and cant find your opponent and suddenly they are shoved right in your face. You both get the shit scared out of you (cause its probably very late at night and dark as anything) and due to the jumping off the seat action one fires, and its probably you who dies as a result. (very funny for a bystander watching) IM TAKING YOU WITH ME FRAG: has the rocket launcher. You run straight into them, and they instinctivly try to shoot you. Boom. Usually both dead, although there have been times when you survive, and the opponent (who had the rocket launcher) blows himself into little bits. Incredibly funny, although not very productive, as you usally die too, but no score changes. COULDNT SEE A THING FRAG: - When you get a direct blast and your screen goes almost totally red but you are still alive and have the enormous task of trying to get away or kill the opponent. (This can be amusing if it is the other person in this situation, ie They are shooting walls and falling off things.) Annoying. THE DOOM 2 HIGH PITCH SCREAM FRAG: - I dont know if this is entirely random but it seems that if you are on little health and get hit by a "Power" weapon, eg BFG, ROCKET, your scream is not that normal "arrrrrrgh" but a "RooorrrAAAArrgh" (you know what I mean) which implys "That hurt". GOT STUCK ON THAT DOOR FRAG: 1 - Running for your life you get stuck on that door frame and die as a result. Bastard. 2 - Some namby pamby smartass wad author decided to build his pretty pillar right in my path, it killed me. PSYCHO FRAG: - When you go round shooting anything and everything in a hope that your opponent is in there somewhere. Best done with mega amounts of plasma. "What the hell are they doing?" comes to mind. 4 PLAYER "I'LL SETTLE THIS" FRAG: - This is when 2 guys are laying into each other with pistols taking forever to die so you come along with your super shotgun (or equivilent) and obliterate the both of them. I DOGDGED INTO IT FRAG: - This is a classic. Almost always done with the rocket laucher, your opponent fires a rocket at what you think is _directly_ at you, so you dodge it realising they didnt actually fire it _directly_ at you at all. I LOST MY PATIENCE FRAG: - You are sick of the fps (frags per second) rate and do anything to kill the opponent including very stupid maneuvers like attacking them with your "RAPID FIRE FULLY AUTOMATIC" pistol. You die as a result. (obviously) DECKED HIM FRAG: - Massive ego booster. Usually, when you have the beserker and you run up to your opponent and lay a very satisfying uppercut on them. They die with a sickening scream. (or so it seems) YOU STOLE MY MEGASPHERE FRAG: - Its just not your day. You are on %10 health so you to get that megasphere which isnt there. (of course) Ok so you wait around for it to warp back in. It warp's back in, Great, and then all of a sudden the PRATT of an opponent comes and nicks it. (Then kills you of course) Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! THE HAND OF GOD GUIDES THY MOUSE FRAG: - You have this "vision" which guides you, you know exactly where to fire that rocket without even seeing them. Often results in *WHO WHAT WHERE? FRAGs* and *SHOT IN THE DARK FRAGs*. I WAS TALKING FRAG: - You are typing a message to your opponent about how awesome your last frag was and they come up and nuke ya. You see them just in time and try to recover but it turns out you had no chance whatsoever. (In Doom, Darwinistic evolution eliminates social bastards. I DIDNT REALISE I WAS TALKING FRAG: - In the course of a frenzied battle you accidentaly touch one of the communication keys (ie TGIR or B) suddenly you can no longer change weapons or open doors, you must have hit your keyboard too hard last time. (As the red clears you see the message... "555 443565455555555555555") GIMME A BREAK FRAG: - When the NO MERCY tactic is working for the opponent and you cant even walk 5 steps without dying. After a while you figure out that its probably better for you to wait a wee while before warping back in. :> (Similar to *FREE FRAG*) OH WOULD YOU PLEASE F' OFF FRAG: - More extreme version of the *GIMME A BREAK* frag. NOW I GOTCHA FRAG: - When you have your opponent cornered, they cant move and you have a rocket launcher with 75 rockets. Or something to that effect. Very satisfying. (and usually messy) Also known as LET THEM HAVE IT FRAG. HEHE IVE GOT INVULNERABILITY FRAG: - Your opponent has every weapon known to man and is laying into you but you arent dying, or even trying to dodge them. Then they click just before you let them have it. Hahahahhaha. "I am enveeencible!" SHOT IN THE DARK FRAG: - Not much is happening and you think what the hell and fire a rocket into nowhere. Then you hear an "Arrrrrrrrgh" and your frag counter goes up. Halarious. Also known as a *RANDOM ROCKET FRAG* OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE FRAG: - This is when you are killed, warp back in and see your old body clutching its neck and falling to the ground. Daunting? THEY WERE BEHIND ME FRAG: 1 - You know the opponent is either left or right at that T junction so you take your pick and lay a few rockets down the left. But they aren't there. GULP. 2 - You are running around with no guns and you hear the dreaded bang or boom as you are running. Oh dear. I know its not possible but somehow, just somehow, you run a hell of a lot faster. (Not quite fast enough though) THE TWO FRAGS WITH ONE STONE FRAG: - This is where you hit your opponent directly in the face with the primary blast of the BFG, guts fly, they warp in again and are just in time for the secondary blast to kill them aswell. THE DIDN'T SCREAM FRAG: - Only happens to us mousers. Is when you die and cause you have your finger on the run button you warp back in before you get to scream. Tis quite good sometimes :> THE DOOM 2, LEVEL 1, 4 PLAYER, ROCKET IN THE CORRIDOR FRAG: - Great for a laugh. This is where you sit in rocket launcher place and just fire a rocket's willy nilly down the corridor. You will undoubtbly (sp) hit a player or 3. THE 4 PLAYER "GOT THE GUY BEHIND YA" FRAG: - This is when you fire a rocket at a person, they move (around a corner or something) and another person appears from behind you and they cop the rocket. Extremely funny. HOW ON EARTH DID YOU KNOW? FRAG: - When there is no possible explanation to what your opponent had achieved. For example your opponent is waiting around the corner with a rocket launcher waiting for you, you decide to make a run for it after waiting a good deal of time and just as your are approaching the corner they fire a rocket killing you. WHERE DID THEY COME FROM FRAG: - You dont know how your opponent could have possibly gotten to where they are without you knowing. That heavily armoured marine must be an illusion. Gosh this guy is GOOD. DOUBLE FRAG: - Now this is when you and your opponent both get killed. A way in which this can happen is: You have a rocket launcher, your opponent has a BFG9000. You fire, they fire. The rocket hits them first, they die. (you laugh) But then the BFG blast hits the wall behind you and you die aswell. (you stop laughing) FLUKE FRAG: - When your health is %2 and you manage to kill your opponent 5+ times without being hit. "Wow" MAX FRAG: - Extreme Unhumane Aggressiveness is the cause of this frag. This kind of person will do _anything_ to kill you at any cost. (even their own life) This one is named after Max. (howd you guess?) (you dont want to meet this guy in a corridor when hes got a rocket launcher) IVE GOT A SLOW MACHINE FRAG: - When you have the window size so small you cant tell whether that green is a pattern on the wall or your opponent, and the frame rate is 1.5 fps. Bang. It turns out it is your opponent. You generally dont play doom to often. BLOODY BUGGERY BUG FRAG: 1 - Damn pesky fluttery thing navigating by the light of your monitor and the heat of your face causes you to take your hands off the controls in order to claw spastically at thin air. Death is swift. (you, not the bug) 2 - Your attention (required for the game) is being sorely contested by the knowledge that something just crawled over your leg... PLAYERS ======= THE TERMINATOR PLAYER: - This player is a calm controlled un-blinking killing machine, no emotion plays across their face as another frag is added to the count. THE PSYCHOTIC PLAYER: - Normally not very good in the DOOM environment. They take the game too seriously, if you kill them too often their frustration builds, ie (Psychotic Player after dying 20 times in a row) "Mya ha haaaa, I have the BFG9000, NOW YOU ARE *DEAD*, you HEAR ME" (Other Player) [Turns around and fires 5 rockets in BFG room] (Psychotic player) "Arrrghhhhhhhhh, you **** ****** **** **** I'm gonna ***** ******" At this point, the other player is advised to 'let the wookie win' as in this state, grevious bodily harm can result if the Psychotic player is sitting next to you or in the same room as you. [NB] These people can damage their systems, beware of them playing on your system. THE BORING PLAYER: - Not very skilled but winning is everything, they sacrifice the fun of the game for always waiting in ambush near a weapon or other key area. An interesting experiment to watch is to pair two of these players together and see how long they wait in hiding for each other. THE HYPO PLAYER: - Sinks into the game, heart rate rises, breathing quickens, mouth can drop open for long periods of time. Physically dodges from side to side and gets very involved in whats happining. A nervous wreck by the end. THE "THEY JUST NEVER LEARN" PLAYER: - They try something new for a change and it works a couple of times. The other player then finds a way to combat this new tactic but The Just Never Learns Player is already convinced it's a good tactic and so sticks to it. This can also occur when the Player uses a tactic successfully all the time against friends but it is suicide against a more competent DOOM player. End result, lots of easy kills. THE NEWBIE: - Fun to toy with as an ego booster, often have their hand hovering above the space bar for when they get fraged. Very rarely dodge, you fire a rocket at them and they just sit there looking at you with their puppy-dog eyes until their bits fly everywhere. THE PRETENTIOUS DOOM GOD PLAYER: - Claims they are the best, they are unfraggable, they want a 'real' challenge for a change etc etc ad nausium. The really *really* annoying thing is they are right. THE TECHNICAL BASTARD PLAYER: - This player spends far too much time exploiting quirks of the doom engine such as Wall Walks, Vector Addition, BFG Tricks and not not enough time actually being a threat. THE VOODOO PLAYER: - (Often mistaken for the *HANIBLE LECTOR PLAYER* - a close relation) Somehow the Voodoo Player always know where the other player is, where they are going, what they are doing and what weapon they have selected. Symptoms that you are against a Voodoo player include being taken out regularly with *SHOT IN THE DARK FRAGS* and *THE HAND OF GOD GUIDES THEIR MOUSE FRAGS*. Opening doors to always find a missle fired at you (*NOT* at the center of the door) is another clue, though *HANIBLE LECTOR PLAYERS* often share this trait. THE AESTHETICALLY INCLINED PLAYER: - In the middle of an epic battle this player comes to a screaming halt in order to admire the woodwork. "Woooow, check out that stone wall!" ** Insert from Justin: Err ok Guilty as charged... THE SADISTIC PLAYER: - Have a distinct preference for rockets (or anything else that can make you splat) and are extremely aggressive. Often have ammo problems - esp. if you are playing Deathmatch ver 1 (no item respawn) CREATURES OF THE NIGHT: - Play DOOM all night and work all day, the body is sustained by substances such as Coke, Coffie, and Jolt. Normally a *HYPO PLAYER* Some varients play all night and sleep all day, probably in a coffin. THE PLASMA WEENIE: - Failing to master any of the _real_ guns this player resorts to the one gun that is dangerous even in the most foolish hands. (They then proceed to run around like a blind mole with one finger on fire and the other on run, their own screen obscured by the obsene amounts of plasma) HANNIBLE LECTOR PLAYER: - Understands how the other player thinks and using information provided by DOOM (eg listining for distant doors/lifts etc through their sterio sound card) constructs remarkably accurate data regarding the other players postion, direction etc. Based on how the other player thinks, they predict the next move the other player will take... with rather lethal consequinces. Symptoms that you are against a Hanible Lector Player are *HOW THE HELL DID HE KNOW FRAGS* THE TALKATIVE PLAYER: - More often than not, ends up having a conversation via the [T]alk command rather than actually playing the game. Easy to rake up *I WAS TALKING FRAGS* THE SILENT ONE (Mike Whitty) PLAYER: levels of Doom 2 really suck, and just runs straight to the exit on each one, which really annoys you, and you start doing stupid stuff just cause your really annoyed at him, and besides that, he starts complaining that the levels after about 7 are too big, so lets play something else, so you just go and beat the crap out of him for being who he is. :) I LOVE THIS GAME PLAYER: - This player cherish's every moment of doom that they can get their hands on. No matter what the outcome from deathmatch they get, (death, life, eternal hell) they just love it. THE IM ADDICTED TO DOOM PLAYER: - This person has a psychological problem. You watch them walking around the house with their pretend shotgun, (You think this is a game at first) then you see them strafing at doors. (hmm interesting) They go back into their den. You hear voilent noises, yep its doom, they are playing some poor sod, you watch as they play, they are ultimate killing machines. More extreme versions of the Terminator/Hanible Lector/Pretentous Doom God/Hypo Players. THE PARANOID PLAYER: - This is the kind of player that warps in, finds they are in a big open space so immediatly runs for shelter in a nice dark small place. They are horrified that anyone could actually like this game. Anyway, they wait and wait, wondering if the opponent is just around the corner or not. After a while they finally decide to make a run for it, "uh oh, they might see me here, I better go back", and they go back. Greaaaat. Longer still the opponent actually finds them, and they die of a *HEARTATTACK FRAG*. The convo goes something like "Seee you killed me. I am no good." "I know you blithering idiot, I had all the weapons, you just sat there" THE WIMPY PLAYER: - Similar to the *PARANOID PLAYER* but is also stupid. They wander around instead of hiding and run away at the first sight of the opponent with the occasional bang bang. For the opponent this is similar to playing the BORING PLAYER. But seeing as they fall for the easiest of traps you can generally nail them good and proper anyway. THE EGO BOOSTER VICTIM: (abb. EBV) - Someone you play for the sheer pleasure of viewing the Frag count at the end of the game. Getting 50 frags to their 1, without deathmatch 2.0 can give you that warm fuzzy feeling of immortality... THE I LOVE WEAPONS PLAYER: - This player thinks collecting weapons is a higher priority than fragging the other player. They end up either fragging themselves with a rocket launcher or dying from the hands of a pistol/shotgun. (At least they've got a hobby) THE BLATANTLY THICK PLAYER: 1 - This player doesnt seem to realise that in doom 1.666 (and above) you actually _lose_ frags for killing themself. Preventing them from getting the rocket launcher would be doing them a favour. 2 - This player also does things like attacking you with their pistol when they know bloody well you have much greater resources with which to "liquidate" their assets... (usually as an knee-jerk reaction to shoot regardless of the situation) 3 - The player boasts so much about there situation, they inform every other player exactly how to remedy the situation. ie - "I've got the rocket launcher now, your history!! (yeah!)" "Oh so thats _where_ you are.... Make that were (hehe)" "#$%*^# %(&^%& #$^%$(& !!!!!!!!!" 4 - When the player is _insistant_ that there _was_ a door here last time they played. ie - You here this persistant "Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt" etc, add infinitum, throughout the entire level as they try to open it again. 5 - The player that plays deathmatch for the first time and discovers to their immense horror that they can't play doom as the cheats don't work. 6 - You fire a rocket at this player knowing that any normal person would dodge it, but instead they just sit there and watch it coming. (ur durrrrrrrr) I find it extremly difficult to understand how the hell anyone could do this. The authors can be contacted at misc199@csc.canterbury.ac.nz "Romero, we want YOU!" THE ROMERO FRAG: - It doesnt matter who fragged who or what happened but you've got it on LMP and your gonna show it to all your friends then frame it and hang it on the wall :) -- The Cookie Monster (TCM) - I've almost completed the biggest Loch Ness Monster hoax ever, all I need now is a mosquito buried in amber.